Read Greg's letter and answer it yourself before you read my answer.
Dear Shelly,
My name is Greg and I am 18 years old. I have been using since I was
twelve years old. This past summer I was arrested because of my
addiction.
I am going to tell you the story because i feel that maybe in someway
you could help me. This gal called me one day and asked me if I could
get her a 1/4 lb. of weed so I told her "yes." Well, when I did that
she ended up stealing it and jumping out a 2 story window. Less than a
week later she called one of my "friends" and he said he would go pick
her up. He did. But he took her to a remote place where she was
assaulted and robbed. I did not do any of that stuff.
About 4 days later the police caught up with us
and I was put away for
2 days in a detention home (I wasnt 18 yet) and then I was put into a
rehab program. Well I have been out since Sept. and didn't smoke for
awhile because I was on house arrest until I turned 18. Then I smoked
around the begining of Febuary for the first time since before I was
locked up. My addiction is taking over again because I have been
smoking ever since. I am on probation until 2 years and I cannot afford
to screw anything else up.
I have such a wonderful girlfriend who is supportive of me is my
fiance. She has been through it all with me and I love her so much I
don't want to put her through that again, nor my family. My girlfriend
is aware that I have been smoking and she wants to help me, she asks me
how she can and I reply, "I don't know". And I really don't. I don't
know why I continue to smoke because I honestly don't want to.I really
don't understand why I am doing this? I have already failed a drug test
for probation, 1 more and I have to go back to court. Can you help me?
Can you help him? what would you say?
Dear Greg,
You wrote, "I am going to tell you the story because I feel that maybe
in someway you could help me." I can tell you truthfully that I can not
help you and you are right, your girfriend can't either. I can only
offer you my experience. I too, am a drug addict and so I can "hear"
what you are saying. You also wrote: "This past summer I was arrested
because of my addiction." That is the only gut level honest statement
you made. You spent the rest of the email telling me why it wasn't
really your fault and evading responsibility for anything and
everything. You even say, "I don't know why I keep smoking." What kind
of crap is that? You keep smoking because you keep picking it up. It
doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
I love you like a son--we are addicts together
and in recovery together. Yet--by not accepting responsibility for your choices, you
keep yourself in diseased thinking. I can offer you a way out. Normally
I prefer AA and CDA--but I can see that NA is the place for you. Why?
Because NA is a bit Nazi-like and won't give you an inch to bullshit
anyone. If you truly want to be free of mind-affecting chemicals and
the cage of oppressive thinking you have built for yourself, contact
the closest NA group in your area. Tell them you need a strong sponsor.
I suggest taking the first person over 5 years who offers. Then do
this: everything they tell you. If they tell you to clean your floor
with a toothbrush, get on your hands and knees and do it.
I can also suggest that you contact MA
(marijuana anonymous) via the
internet and join an on-line group--but the most important is finding
NA and a strong sponsor.
What I am telling you is the sharing of my
experience strength and
hope--This is not professional advice, it is suggestions for self-help
from one addict to another. Give your fiancé the best gift
of her life, your sobriety! God bless and get your little behind to NA.